DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15, and 7:39
By Atty. Dr. Stephen Bonilla
Our guest writer is a lawyer, surgeon, professor, and preacher. He is the chairman of the Board of Elders of GCF Naga and a member of the National Council of the Conservative Baptist Philippines (CBaP).
Marriage is God’s covenantal design for a man and a woman. It is meant to be permanent, faithful, and reflective of Christ’s relationship with His church. Yet because of the Fall, marriage is lived in a world where sin distorts love, weakens commitment, and disrupts peace. Scripture upholds the sanctity of marriage while also giving pastoral instruction for situations where the covenant has been willfully broken. The goal is always restoration, but God, in His mercy, provides biblical and lawful pathways when restoration is no longer possible.
God hates divorce because He is a covenant-keeping God. Divorce is the fruit of human faithlessness and the hardness of heart brought about by sin. Yet the same sovereign Lord who designed marriage as a permanent union also, in His mercy and justice, spoke of exceptions through Jesus Christ. These exceptions do not weaken marriage; they acknowledge the tragic reality that man and woman are sinners living under the effects of the Fall.
When the covenant is persistently and willfully destroyed through sexual immorality or when an unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage, Scripture declares that the offended spouse is not enslaved but called to peace. Thus, the Bible holds together two inseparable truths: the permanence of marriage according to God’s design and God’s mercy toward the one whose covenant has been shattered.
Remarriage is not a universal right after every divorce. But where divorce takes place on biblical grounds, the innocent party is not called an adulterer for entering into a new covenant marriage in the Lord. Such a step is never casual. It is a renewed commitment to God’s original design for a permanent and Christ-centered union.
TWO EXCEPTIONS
The Lord makes a clear statement that divorce for invalid reasons is not acceptable, but divorce due to infidelity is acceptable. Thus, all causes of divorce or separation should be rejected, but there are exceptions.
Matthew 19:9: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
The first one is sexual immorality, which is a covenant-breaking sin. The one-flesh union is violated, and the marital bond is deeply fractured.
According to Scripture, all believers must forgive. That includes offended parties in marriage. Forgiveness reflects the grace we received in Christ. However, forgiveness does not mean that they should stay in a marriage, as it does not always remove the consequences of sin or automatically restore the relationship. The pastoral task of the church is to pursue reconciliation through repentance and transformation.
The second exception is abandonment.
Paul answered questions from believers in Corinth. Some asked if they should separate from their unbelieving spouse. Paul instructed them to remain; however, they can become free if the unbelieving spouse deserts the marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
Although the context applies to a believer married to an unbeliever, it may also apply to a believer and a so-called believer. There are false believers and people might unknowingly marry a false believer. On another note, some churches put verbal and physical abuse under abandonment.
Marriage is not a place of bondage. When an unbelieving spouse deserts the covenant, the believer is no longer bound. In many pastoral situations, abandonment includes not only physical departure but the persistent destruction of the covenant through abuse and the refusal to live as a spouse.
Conflict in marriage is inevitable because man and woman are sinners. But covenantal destruction is never God’s design.
REMARRIAGE
The question of divorce is inseparable from the question of remarriage. Where divorce takes place on biblical grounds, the innocent party is not called to a life of perpetual bondage. The freedom described by Scripture includes the freedom to enter into a new marriage in the Lord.
Jesus Himself teaches that where divorce takes place on the ground of sexual immorality, the subsequent marriage is not called adultery by the Lord.
Matthew 19:9: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
The exception clause shows that when the covenant has been broken through sexual immorality, the innocent party is not morally bound to a life of perpetual separation.
In the same way, Paul declares that when an unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage, the believer is no longer under bondage.
1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
To be “not enslaved” is to be released from the marital bond. The believer is not called to covenantal slavery but to live in the peace of Christ.
Yet this freedom is never a license for casual union. Scripture places remarriage within the lordship of Christ.
1 Corinthians 7:39: She is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Remarriage, therefore, must still reflect God’s original purpose for marriage. Remarriage is not an escape from the past but a renewed call to walk in obedience to Christ, entering a covenant that is again received as lifelong.
MARRIAGE AND THE LAW OF THE LAND
God’s design for marriage is also reflected in the legal framework of our nation.
Article 1, Family Code of the Philippines (Executive Order No. 209): Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and incidents are governed by law and not subject to stipulation…
This legal definition affirms the biblical truth that marriage is permanent and covenantal.
Because of the reality of sin, the Philippine law provides remedies:
· Void Marriages: Where no true marriage existed from the beginning (e.g., psychological incapacity – a ground for the annulment of marriage or the absence of essential requisites)
· Voidable Marriages: Where consent was defective.
· Legal Separation: In cases such as sexual infidelity, abandonment, and/or violence.
The law does not weaken marriage. It upholds its sanctity while protecting those whose covenant has been violated.
Application
1. Follow God’s design for marriage. Marriage is a permanent covenant. It must be nurtured by the Word of God, prayer, repentance, and daily grace.
2. Practice gospel-shaped forgiveness. Because we are sinners living under the effects of the Fall, conflict will always be present. Forgiveness is the means by which marriages are sustained and restored.
3. Pursue peace with biblical and lawful wisdom. When there is sexual immorality or abandonment, the believer is not called to slavery. God has provided both scriptural and lawful means for protection and peace.
Poem
Covenant, Mercy, and Peace
by Stephen Bonilla
God formed the vow by His command,
One flesh united, heart and hand;
A sign of Christ, His faithful love,
A covenant sealed by God above.
Yet through the Fall our hearts withdrew,
And broke the bond God made us true;
The Lord hates vows in violence torn,
Where faithless hearts breed grief and scorn.
But when by lust the tie is slain,
Or when the unbeliever leaves in disdain,
The Word gives peace, the bound set free,
No longer held in slavery.
Still grace calls us to vow once more,
In Christ to keep what was before;
Till every home is filled with love,
A sign of grace from God above.
Study Guide
1. What are the two biblical grounds for divorce mentioned in the sermon, and what does Scripture say happens to the innocent spouse in those situations?
2. When is remarriage allowed according to the Bible, and what does it mean to remarry “only in the Lord”?
3. According to Article 1 of the Family Code, what kind of union is marriage, and how should this shape the way we treat our own marriage?
