MARRIAGE AND THE CURSE
Genesis 3:16-17
The Fall of Man in the garden plunged humanity into darkness. Sin severed Man’s fellowship with God; spiritual and eventually physical death became the wages that all generations inherit. Every person born will experience the consequences of sin, which are many. To name a few: decay, conflict, fear, and pain. God designed marriage to be a place of belonging, refuge, and unity. But because of the Fall, it can become the front lines of a daily war. Somehow, the curse is felt strongly in marriage. Desire turns evil and selfish; responsible leadership turns into domination without love. Or even worse, the breaking up of the covenant. Is there hope? Only in Christ is a person saved from the penalty of sin. Only through Christ may a person experience transformation. Only through Christ, can the marriage covenant be fulfilled or restored.
Pain and Conflict
God decreed that the woman would experience pain in childbirth, which may denote pain in conception and child rearing.[1] Moreover, her relationship with her husband was also affected. Her desire for her husband may mean love and companionship, but it may also be a desire to rule him and conform him to her needs.
Genesis 3:16, ESV: To the woman he said,
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.”
The pairing of desire but to rule over, which is like sin. Sin’s desire is clear, but one must rule over it (Gen 4:7). Going back to the woman and man. Instead of companionship, there would be a power struggle.[2] But in Christ, she must submit to her husband as to Christ (Eph 5:22-24).
Dominate
In the Garden, it is assumed that the male would lead the woman.[3] But the curse involves dominating without love. Such is visible in many marriages today. In other cases, men abandoned leadership and let the woman decide for the family. This, too, is a distortion.
Genesis 3:16: To the woman he said,
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.”
God made woman to complement the man, which is to complete him. However, the fall would make it harder for men to lead their wives. The hope for the marriage is in Christ, where husbands are taught to love and cherish their wives. They are to follow the love that Christ has for the church (Eph 5:25).
Pain to Survive
Like the woman, Man would also experience pain. It is the pain of survival; the pain of labor in order to provide. His decision to listen to his wife rather than God led to the cursed ground.[4] There is always misery in not listening to God.
Genesis 3:17: And to Adam he said,
“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,
‘You shall not eat of it,’
cursed is the ground because of you
The subtle trap is listening to those closest to us, rather than God. Men must listen to God before they listen to their wives or anyone else. The consequences of God’s justice are far-reaching; they encompass the earth.[5] Humanity must bear that in mind.
Application
1. Understand God’s design for marriage and the consequences of the Fall of Man. Understanding the Fall will help us grasp the power of sin and the justice of God. The knowledge should make us aware of the need for salvation in Christ.
2. Fix your hope in growing in Christ, which leads to better marriages. For the single, never marry someone who does not fear and love God. If you do not listen to this piece of wisdom, expect consequences. You will not enjoy God’s redemptive action in your marriage.
3. The pain and conflict exist because of sin, but God’s grace is sufficient. Trust in God’s grace to sustain us through the pain and the power to deal with conflict. Through His Spirit, we develop self-control, peace, love, and humility.
Those who are in Christ receive the grace to follow the renewed design in Christ. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives must submit to their husbands as to Christ. Husbands should love and cherish their wives, and the wives must respect and submit to their husbands (Eph 5:22-33).
[1] John Goldingay, Genesis, Baker Commentary on the Old Testament: Pentateuch, ed. Bill T. Arnold (Baker Academic, 2020), 81.
[2] Bruce K. Waltke and Cathi J. Fredricks, Genesis (Zondervan Academic, 2016), Book 1.
[3] Waltke and Fredricks, Genesis, Book 1.
[4] Andrew E. Steinmann, Genesis (IVP, 2019), Chapter 2.B.
[5] Goldingay, Genesis (Baker Commentary on the Old Testament, 81.
Bibliography
Goldingay, John. Genesis. Baker Commentary on the Old Testament: Pentateuch, edited by Bill T. Arnold. Baker Academic, 2020.
Steinmann, Andrew E. Genesis. IVP, 2019.
Waltke, Bruce K., and Cathi J. Fredricks. Genesis. Zondervan Academic, 2016.
Poem
GRACE IN MARRIAGE by Ed Pilapil Jr Is it childbirth or child rearing? The labor pains are not pleasing Eve’s needs became more magnified Conflict seems to be codified Man’s response is domination It is more like subjugation That is the effect of the Fall Differs from God’s design and call Labor pains for the husband, too For Adam, it was something new Man’s survival became a pain With a lesson that’s clear and plain Listen to God above all else Develop some biblical sense Look to God’s justice and His grace In marriage, His grace, do embrace
Study Guide
1. According to Genesis 3:16, what are the two parts of God’s judgment on the woman, and how do they affect childbearing and marriage?
2. Contrast God’s design (Gen 2:24-25) to the fallen state in terms of the relationship of Adam and Eve.
3. What was the consequence of Adam listening to his wife instead of the LORD?
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